


Tord-san in Paradise

by ShiningBeatyfluff



Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Anime, post-The End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 16:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10442031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiningBeatyfluff/pseuds/ShiningBeatyfluff
Summary: it had been months since Tord’s “ordeal” with his old friends and the robot he planned on take over the world with. Tord decided he was going to put that behind him, both his friendship and the near million dollar waste of having his robot destroyed a few minutes after starting it up for the first time.Well, at least that was his plan at first, but it was hard to forget just how much time and energy he spent on that plan, to take over the world.This is my first Eddsworld fanfiction! I hope you enjoy. It's heavily inspired by Girlchan in Paradise if anyone's seen it but you don't have to see it to read the fanfic





	

It had been months since Tord’s “ordeal” with his old friends and the robot he planned on take over the world with. Tord decided he was going to put that behind him, both his friendship and the near million dollar waste of having his robot destroyed a few minutes after starting it up for the first time. 

Well, at least that was his plan at first, but it was hard to forget just how much time and energy he spent on that plan, to take over the world. He would have ruled it so well too, Communism was truly meant to be worldwide rather than only in a few countries.That’s why all communist nations are doomed to fail. If he would’ve instated a worldwide communist regime then everything would have been good and world hunger and poverty would finally be abolished.

But stupid Tom and his other ex-friends had to be selfish and destroy his robot just because he hurt their feelings and blew up their house.

Aside from ruminating on the past, Tord had been working on a new machine that could transport certain objects from other realities; rather than having to design and mass-produce weapons for the red army he could just teleport them from elsewhere.

Also he could get some sick anime sci-fi guns that he could shoot Tom’s stupid face with.

Tord hadn’t slept in 3 days, he had stayed perched over his desk adding in the last touches to the machine, running only on caffeine and spite.

Tord finally screwed in the last bolt and snapped the last piece into place on his creation. Anxiously wondering if it would work. This sort of interdimensional technology was usually only allowed to be tested by official government scientists and even then, nothing of this scale, there were a lot of risks involved and Tord wasn’t exactly prepared for an accidental black hole in his basement but he needed to make this work. His hands were shaking but he was still able to flip the switch on. The machine hummed and started to heat up, Tord held his breath and entered the coordinates. After a few painstakingly long minutes the machine shot a light in front of it and sure enough a futuristic looking weapon started to materialise right before tords eyes. Tord waited intently for it to be fully corporeal like a kid waiting for a hot tray of cookies to cool.

After what felt like forever for the Norski, the machine powered down and the gun fell over onto the table with a clunk.

Tord eagerly grabbed it by the grip. The gun was essentially a handgun but rather than bullets it shot red lasers that, according to the anime it was from, could burn through anything and rather than needing to be recharged it would run on the emotional charge of the user. Tord stashed it into the pocket of his hoodie and ran out his house. Heading to the train station. He knew exactly where Tom and co. lived. It’s not like he was a stalker or anything. Who are we kidding, yes he is, since the incident he made sure to keep track of all his friends. Even having some members of the red army go under cover and keep an eye on him. Although he did that even before he returned. Tord may have a problem.

Meanwhile at Edd, Matt and Tom’s apartment complex,the day was going slowly but generally normal. Edd was busy drawing comics, Tom was asleep, still, at 1pm, and Matt was fixing his hair up, as he was planning on taking a selfie with a new jacket he had recently bought.

Tom woke up to something moving around in his kitchen, he assumed it was just Edd or Matt letting themselves in to steal his food again and lazily trudged out of his room, shielding his eyes with his arm from the sunlight seeping in through the windows.

“Where you still sleeping? Do you have any idea what time it is?” Said a familiar voice. A voice that would have filled Tom with a lot of anger and dread if he was fully conscious, but in this state he was just confused.  
”what.” Tom mumbled. Looking at the man in his kitchen, trying to understand what was happening.

”Well I was kind of hoping for a better reaction but whatever” Tord said reaching into his pocket.  
Tom woke up finally once the barrel of the futuristic weapon was pointed straight at him.

“Tord!The fuck are you doing here!?” Tom shouted and then instantly regretted raising his voice to such a degree, when he felt his headache worsen in response. Why did Tord have to come back when he was hungover!? Not like there were too many days when he wasn’t, but still.

Tord grinned maniacally, while getting all up in Tom’s face and shoved the gun at Tom’s chest.  
“Do you have any idea how long it took me to finally do this!? I have been waiting so long to finally kill you Tom. You took everything away from me, no, not from only me. But the whole WORLD! I could’ve saved everyone from the horrors of capitalism, but you had to RUIN it, like the STUPID SELFISH jerk you are!”

Tom desperately looked around for something he could defend himself with. Stalling for time while he backed away from the weapon jabbing his ribs.  
“Whuh-wait uh, Tord you don’t, you shouldn’t do this. I uh, maybe we um, destroyed your robot but like, maybe that was um, for the better?” 

Tord rolled his eyes and clicked off the safety on the gun.

The two didn’t even notice the door open behind them  
“Hey, Tom, do you have any coke? We ran out at home and i don’t go shopping ‘till- Whoa Tord??”  
”oh hey Edd, glad you came to witness me finally murdering Tom”

“No! Tom!” Edd acted out of sheer instinct and jumped onto Tords back in attempt to wrestle the gun out of his hand, but to his surprise Tord was much stronger than him. Of course he was, he was literally the leader of his own army, he probably worked out. Anyway the gun was pointed at Edd now.

Tom took this opportunity to dash to his room to grab his own weapon but while he was rifling through his stuff he heard a gunshot. Forgetting his previous actions he leaned out the door to see Edd face planted onto the ground.

”Oh, god, Edd!” 

“See Tom? I’m not fuckin’ around.This is what happens when you interfere with the Red Army’s plans!”

“Yo, Tom what was that noise? OH MY GOD NOOOOO”  
-  
Matt had entered the scene. He ran over to Edd and kneeled next to him. It seemed all hope was lost but suddenly Edd’s body began to move and change. His face got a bit more angular and he got a bit more muscular. His hair’s angles sharpened and his eyes slowly opened, their round plate shape now replaced with a more rectangular and detailed one.

“Tord!? What have you done to me!? I’ll never forgive you for this!!!!!! The way you act is unjust and if only you knew the true VALUE of FRIENDSHIP and LOVE then maybe you wouldn’t be such a big bully!”

Everyone stared dumbfoundedly at the now taller and much more masculine person asserting himself. Tord realised that perhaps he may have miscalculated a few things with his new invention.

“I can only think of one way you can set this even,yeah!” Edd snatched the anime gun straight out of Tord’s hand and pointed it at him.  
“No, Edd please listen,That is not a toy.”

“TaKE THISSSSSSS” Edd shouted shooting the weapon. Tord ducked, and it unfortunately hit Matt. Everyone silently turned to him as he shaped into the most beautiful bishi anyone has ever seen. His face took the shape of the sexiest type of triangle, scalene, his hands grew to twice the size and his muscles were definitely also more defined. He was so gorgeous,everyone in the room found it hard to breathe.

He opened his perfect lips and spoke in a calm and silky voice.

“Edd… you better watch where you point that thing, you could’ve hurt someone.”  
Edd was straight-up blushing.  
“Oh, uh yeah… sorry.” Edd placed the gun onto a table and gave it a pat.

“Alright, okay. I’ve made some mistakes, I can see that now. I’m going to take this opportunity to leave now, um sorry? everyone?.” Tord said and headed for the door.  
“No you FUCKING don’t!!!!” shouted Tom. “You come into my home, try to kill me and then make all my friends hot!? Don’t think you can just leave after that!!” He pulled his Actual Gun™ out from behind his back and pointed it at Tord.

“Tom wait!” Edd interjected heroically “If you shoot him that makes you just as bad, if not even worse!” 

“I don’t care?”

“You don’t want to be a murderer Tom. Don’t do it.” Tord begged, pathetically.

“Wait, Edd didn’t you try to shoot Tord with that fuckin’ weird hot guy gun like, a minute ago?” Tom rebutted.

“That doesn’t matter Tom! All I know is that what’s important in life is to remember to forgive people! And give people second chances! Because with the power of friendship we can overcome any evil!!!” Edd rambled, you could practically see the American (japanese?) flag waving behind him.

If Tom had eyes,they’d be rolled so far back into his head. Meanwhile Tord was at a loss for words and was slightly concerned about what exactly that gun did to the two. However, this absolutely ridiculous speech did work, because Tom lowered his gun, and looked at Edd, expecting him to say something else.

“Tord, you’d better sit down and explain what the heck you even did to me and Matt!” Edd shouted doing some weird pose that showed off his newly acquired rippling muscles.

Tord looked around, he considered just trying to make a run for it but he was a little scared of literally everyone in the room. He begrudgingly sat onto a couch and put his head in his hands.

“Well???” Edd inquired.

“Uh, jeez i don’t really know how to explain this, like, I have no idea what I did. I thought the gun I brought was a normal laser gun sort of thing. I mean whatever these weird effects are they aren’t intentional.”

Matt spoke up in his now smooth and mature voice “that was awfully foolish of you” there was something weirdly flirty about his tone.

“Stop” Tord weakly mumbled.

“Well you better help us fix it!” Edd shouted.

“Why? My goal was to kill you, I couldn’t give less of a shit about accidentally making you weirdly more masculine than usual.”

Tord picked up the anime gun and shot it right into Tords face. “Maybe this will change your mind.”  
Tord shut his eyes while the laser changed his body, he became slightly chubbier and two glasses formed in front of his eyes, with swirls on the lenses. His hair smoothed down into a bowl-cut and his front teeth stuck out significantly more.

“Wh-what the fuck!? Why do I have to be the weird pervert guy when Edd and Matt are like Bishi as fuck!” Tord shouted disgusted with his appearance and taking off the glasses to find he couldn’t see clearly without them.

“Well now you have motivation.” Tom looked down at Tord smugly.  
“RR give me that!” Tord grabbed Tom by the collar and punched him in the face with his other hand, knocked Tom over and grabbing the gun. Shooting him, transforming him instantly.

“Nani the fuck?” Tom said opening his eyes noticing no difference but feeling something new on his head and behind him.

Everyone stared at him. It was making Tom feel nervous.  
“What, what is it? Is it embarrassing?” 

Atop of Tom’s head, he was sporting two brown cat ears, the same color as his hair both pointed back a little.He also had a similarly colored tail. But aside from that he wasn’t too different. These new features however, made him kawaii. As. fuck.

“What!? What is it!?” Tom stomped his foot and his ears flattened and it was the goddamn cutest thing that everyone has seen in their whole lives.

“You, you’re a cat person.” Tord said.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”  
Tom raised his gun that he still had with him.

“Wait!!!! I’m the only one who could even reverse this!!” Tord shouted. “You’ll never be normal again unless i fix it! You need me!!!”  
Tord squinted his eyelids at him and stashed the gun back into his pocket.  
“Fine.”

“Well, Tord, What’s the first step to getting us back to normal?” Edd asked, pumping his fist into the air for no real reason.

“Well, they do experiments with interdimensional stuff like this gun at the official government interdimensional research lab, I figure they probably they might have a machine there that could separate the effects of the gun from our bodies or something? I’d say going there is our best bet.”

“Sneaking into government territory? SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVENTURE!!” Edd shouted while jumping up in the air.

“Sounds dangerous” Matt looked deep in thought, he placed his hand to his chin and scoffed “well, I guess it can’t be helped, I guess I join you.”

“It seems I have no other choice but to join you guy. But just remeowmber that I fucking hate you.” Tom muttered while pointing at Tord. “wait did I just say remeowmber? That was stupid I didn’t even meown to do that. Oh God what is happening, Tord this is your fault, oh my fucking god.”

The four all left the apartment and they all jumped in the air all dramatically at the same time and then there was a freeze frame of that but it was all shaded dramatically and shaded and then the camera panned up to the sunset.

Will our heroes be able to reverse their animefication? Will Tord actually be able to help them? Find out in the next installation!!

-ending theme song-  
My Blazing Heart  
Still beats for you  
You know it's true

GIRLCHAN

Get together, make things better, work together  
You know everything will be alright  
(Doki doki)  
Eating Hotdogs on the rooftops pull out all the stops  
Even if we're brothers, we still have to fight

Cherry blossom falls around you  
The Hot Heat rages on  
This line in Japanese doesn't translate well in this song

GIRLCHAN  
My love for you is like a truck  
GIRLCHAN  
Our enemies are out of luck

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!
> 
> Ending theme is the lyrics to Girl-chan in Paradise by Ken Ashcorp (a great song definitely check it out)


End file.
